So, instead of trying to write a non-bullshit "about me" page for this site (which I have thought about doing...), I'm filling out this fabuloso-cheezy "About Me" list I found on Crazy Aunt Purl's blog today. (Dec. 12, 2005: Updated and expanded with the ubiquitous "100 Things" list!)(Dec. 19, 2006: Updatd and expanded with a much shorter and easier "5 Things" list!)

FIVE things very few people know about me, which haven't already been listed here, which is going to get a lot harder as time goes on ...

1. I almost taught myself how to play "Suicide is Painless" on the flute, by ear, when I was 12 ... but I could never figure out that one high note, and I never picked up the sheet music.
2. The miserable end of my last LTR didn't make me nearly as bitter as getting blown off by the next guy I got casually involved with.
3. I hate it when other people get crushes on me, because I feel guilty if I don't reciprocate.
4. I ate at McDonalds once this year. It was lousy.
5. I have a ~20 year old scar on my left shin from a shaving mishap.

100 Things

(I've been seeing 100 Things About Me lists all over the place. This seemed like a good page to stick one on.)

1. I'm constantly afraid of not being good enough. At anything. I think my cooking is probably one of the only things I don't worry about.

2. I buy almost all of my clothes at thrift shops. Saves the trouble of worrying about the manufacturing ethics of the companies (since they aren't getting my money anyway), and it saves tons of money. I can't stand the idea of paying full retail for most clothes anymore.

3. But I'll spend a small fortune on the right pair of shoes. (There. I admitted a horribly stereotypical female trait. In public. Hah!)

4. I drink a lot. And I don't really mind.

5. I almost never shop at big chain stores if I have a choice. Fairbanks recently got a Wal*Mart, Home Depot, Lowe's, Pet Smart, Old Navy, etc. All built along the same road, in a row, like a mindless shopaholic's dream neighborhood. I won't shop at any of them.

6. A lot of people in my area feel the same way. That's one reason I love living here.

7. I have things I have been procrastinating for months. The more guilty I feel about it, the less I want to do any of them.

8. I think in some ways I'm still trying to find something to take the place of the sense of importance of being the youngest kid in my class...

9. ...which is sad, because it's been 10.5 years since I graduated from University, and 15 years since high school.

10. Sometimes, I don't feel like a "real" adult. Sometimes, I feel like I'm getting old. Often at the same time.

11. The happier I am with myself and my life, the more out-of-step I feel with modern US society.

12. I've worn glasses since I was 4 years old.

13. When I was born, my ears stuck out SO badly, I qualified for free surgery at the Shriners Hospital to 'pin' them back. So, I guess you could say I had my first plastic surgery in Kindergarten.

14. I graduated high school at the age of 15, and received my bachelor's degree at 20...

15. ...I sometimes regret not going straight into graduate school after that.

16. I wonder how different my life would be if I dated out of ambition instead of affection... that whole despicable "marry a doctor" thing.

17. I hate being hit on.

18. I hate "dating"

19. I am recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder.

20. I credit EFT & Buddhism with saving my sanity.

21. I like to make my own herbal tea blends.

22. I don't think I could ever date someone who strongly disagreed with me politically.

23. I can't decide whether or not I'm superstitious.

24. I once started designing a tarot card deck, and US Games actually expressed interest in publishing it. But then I moved to Alaska, and never got around to finishing the project.

25. There are a lot of projects in my life I've never got around to finishing.

26. I sewed my own wedding dress.

27. I wrote my own wedding vows.

28. I filed my own divorce petition.

29. I worked as an "exotic dancer" for two and a half years. It was a great excuse to collect music and buy shoes.

30. I used to draw almost constantly. I'd sit around in coffee shops with friends, and draw all night long. I hardly ever draw anymore.

31. Right now, I knit about as often as I used to draw.

32. I am unspeakably grateful that the internet exists.

33. I travel overseas regularly.

34. I think I would go bat-shit crazy if I didn't travel.

35. I plan to have a paid-off house, and not need a 'regular' office job by the time I'm 40.

36. I can't decide if I want a child or not, but I know I've never been in a relationship I would have wanted to bring a child into.

37. I think life is too short to put up with aggressive, manipulative people. Even for money.

38. I would rather work 20-30 hours a week for the rest of my life (doing what I do now), than work my ass off for years at a lucrative job I hate just so I could officially "retire" when I was 50.

39. I hate, hate, hate, hate multinational corporations, the fast food industry, corporate media, the "defense" industry, our current "growth at all costs" economic philosopies, and what they've done to the values and mores of human society.

40. I cannot STAND the smell of most commercial cleaning products, personal care/hair care products, or even commercial perfumes. I don't even like the smell of artificially flavored/scented foods and candies.

41. I make my own cologne blends out of essential oils (and amber perfume oil).

42. I lose track of time in the shower. Then I run out of hot water, and I know it's time to get out.

43. I'm really damn sad that they decommissioned the Routemaster busses in London.

44. Although I am strongly in favor of consumer and environmental protection regulations, I think the EU is going way overboard. Christ, they made it illegal to serve cheese at room temperature (I wonder if they realize some cheeses actually have MOLD in them???)!

45. I love haggis. And black pudding. MMmmmmm. Offal is goooood.

46. I make a point of trying 'strange' local foods when I travel. Food is a central part of culture. If you don't eat local food, you aren't really getting to know the culture, so why bother travelling?

47. I am a Damn Good Cook.

48. Money is not the root of all evil. But greed, selfishness and power lust probably are.

49. I do not believe society will ever be 'perfect' but I think it can definitely be changed for the better.

50. I support universal health care.

51. Y'know how you're supposed to drink 8 glasses or a gallon or some gawdawful amount of plain water every day? I never do.

52. I am sometimes afraid that I am becoming so firm in my convictions that I will never meet a partner who would get along with me...

53. ...sometimes I think that's fine. I'd rather live in accordance with my values than betray them to get a man...

54. ...but sometimes I'm so scared of being alone, I think it doesn't matter at all.

55. When I lived in an area with full curb-side recycling, my husband and I only threw out 1 SMALL plastic grocery bag of garbage every two weeks.

56. I often won't buy something if I think the packaging is excessive (or excessively tacky).

57. I wish ignorant people wouldn't vote.

58. I really wish ignorant people wouldn't run for office.

59. I really, really wish there weren't so many ignorant people.

60. Most people who share my socio-eco-political views take themselves WAAAAYYYY too seriously. If you can't laugh (even at the rotten stuff—especially at the rotten stuff, sometimes), life is just not worth living.

61. Sometimes, I'm really, honestly a little afraid that I am completely off my rocker. This usually happens after I've spent a few days not talking to anyone but my ex/roommate. Once I get out of the house and start talking to other people, I start feeling sane again pretty quickly.

62. I hate having to complain about food in a restaurant. Especially a restaurant that tries to market itself as "upscale" in some way. I'd just as soon choke down the food and never eat there again.

63. I'm really picky about incense. Some of it I absolutely LOVE. Some of it... Well... I don't want my house to smell like a low-rent head shop.

64. I'm one of the most socially libertarian people I know. Really. Whatever you want to do, go ahead. As long as all participants are consenting adults, have a ball. Or a chain. Whichever you prefer.

65. I am diligently working on really believing, "What other people think of me is none of my buisness." I've been working on it for decades.

66. I've never subscribed to cable (or satellite) TV.

67. 90% of the time I don't eat dessert.

68. 90% of the time I don't watch TV. I own one, but only for watching movies, election returns and the ocassional program on public television.

69. I've donated to the local public radio station the last two years in a row.

70. I believe in staying friends when you break up. So far.

71. This list is taking a hell of a lot longer than I expected it to.

72. My most recent ex was the 10th person I'd ever had sex with. I thought 10 was a perfect number to stop at, since we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and all...

73. ...but I read somewhere that you have the best odds on a long term relationship if it's person #12. (Who'd want to volunteer to be #11 though?!)

74. I really don't like Florida at all.

75. I used to be so skinny people would sometimes ask if I had an eating disorder.

78. I've never had an eating disorder.

79. I hoard fonts and icons.

80. I got a political science degree because I wanted to be a political cartoonist. Then I wanted to start a newspaper. Somehow I ended up teaching myself web design.

81. I'm really glad I ended up working on the internet. I can work anywhere in the world with my laptop and a phone line. Hello 'business travel'!

82. I love plants, but I have horrible luck trying to keep them alive.

83. I love reading like I love drawing. Reading and drawing are probably the biggest reasons I survived childhood without going mad. I don't read as often as I'd like to anymore either.

84. I love to learn new things, but I rarely keep up with them afterward.

85. I quit biting my nails, but I still chew on my cuticles.

86. I started smoking when I was 12. Quit when I was 14. Started again when I was 16. Quit when I was 26 or 27. Started again when I was 29. Quit once more last January, at the age of 30. I'm thinking I should just not start again.

87. I hate the way sex becomes an ulterior motive when guys think you're available. Then if they find out you're sexually unavailable or uninterested, suddenly they don't want to talk anymore. Fuck you buddy. If I'm only interesting because you think you might get laid, you wouldn't have gotten laid anyhow.

88. Re. #87: I wish I could magically become unattractive at will, just so I could talk to men without worrying about that happenening.

89. I trust the government to look after my safety about as much as I trust McDonalds to look after my health.

90. Did I mention food? How I love eating new foods? And learning to cook new foods? And feeding people new foods? I really love food. Good food is one of my major joys in life. And, thankfully, it's not one that requires a mate to enjoy. Although it's much more enjoyable when shared, platonic friends will do just nicely.

91. I love giving people presents. I hate Christmas (mainly because I can't afford to give everyone I know a present, so I choose to boycott the whole thing so nobody feels left out). But I love birthdays, and random days of the year when I see or make something and think, "Hey, this is perfect for so-and-so!"

92. I've always wanted to paint a large painting.

93. I got my nose pierced the week after my 30th birthday.

94. Along with the knitting, and perfume oil, and herbal tea, I also make some of my own jewelry.

95. I really, really, REALLY hate lying. I used to do it when I was a kid. I know how it works. I really, really, REALLY hate lying.

96. I've been in a few "I could've died" situations in my life, but I've yet to be seriously ill or seriously injured.

97. I used to live with horses and cats. I love horses and cats. I became allergic to horses and cats in my early 20s. I keep hoping I'll outgrow the allergy just like I 'grew into' it.

98. There are few things I enjoy so much as when a new piece of information or a new idea changes the way I look at the world.

99. I once saw this totally beautiful guy in a bar. Like, soooo good looking I was just sitting there watching him. The I overheard him talking, and he sounded like a jackass, and I couldn't even find him physically attractive anymore.

100. Most of the time, I really like myself.

TEN random things you might not know about me.

1. I talk to myself. A lot. A whole lot.
2. The only place I can sing in front of people is in the car.
3. I'm always happy when it starts snowing for the Winter, even though I bitch about it.
4. I plan long conversations with people in my head, but I never say any of the stuff I plan in real life.
5. I'm 31, and this is the first time I can remember that I'm not in love with (or at least having a crush on) someone...
6. ...and that kinda scares me, because I'm not sure what to do with my life by myself.
7. But I'm damn well planning to enjoy it anyway!
8. If I were Catholic, I'd seriously consider becoming a nun.
9. I'm still a little scared of the dark.
10. I have two stuffed animals I've owned since I was born.

NINE places I’ve visited

1. the United Kingdom
2. Ireland
3. Amsterdam
4. Belgium
5. Germany
6. Florida
7. California
8. Conneticut
9. Washington, D.C.

EIGHT ways to win my heart

1. Listen to me
2. Laugh with me
3. Cook with me
4. Love my cooking, love my brewing
5. Admire and adore me for being weird
6. Be open
7. Be honest
8. SUSHI

SEVEN things I want to do before I die

1. Build my own off-grid enviro-nerd house
2. Have a gallery showing (of something)
3. Take a 1 year travel sabbatical
4. Go back to all the places I liked
5. Own a house in another country
6. Find the right person to spend my life with
7. Get back to all those hobbies I've abandoned

SIX things I’m afraid of

1. Earwigs
2. Dying alone
3. Being homeless
4. Losing my eyesight
5. Getting a horrible, fatal disease
6. Singing in front of an audience

FIVE things I don't like

1. Mean people. What is the point? Really? Be nice or shutthefuckup. (Kept that one from Aunt Purl's list! :-)
2. Worrying about money
3. Being laughed at
4. Fast food... any bad food, really
5. Giganto mega-corporations

FOUR ways to turn me off

1. Admit you voted for Bush
2. Don't get my jokes
3. Shop at Wal*Mart
4. Watch TV all the time

THREE things I do everyday

1. Knit
2. Internet
3. Take a deep breath and try to just accept and enjoy life

TWO things that make me happy

1. Good beer
2. Good food

ONE thing on my mind right now

1. Saving money to build my little log house