I've been feeling a bit melancholy and overwhelmed lately. Funny, isn't it? At the same time I rediscover what it feels like to be happy, I get hit with a sort of "overcast" of melancholy. Not only about the holidays, just a sort of general overwhelm about the world and my life in general.

Mind you, at the same time I'm also feeling more effective and generally productive than I have in a while. Sort of a general swirl of contradictions, isn't it? I've been knitting constantly, and cleaning house on the weekends, and saving up to buy some land, and losing weight, making jewelry, meeting new people... but also kind of losing my heart for other things I used to get wrapped up in.

Ranting about politics? God, it feels so hopeless. Relationships? Forget it. Most of the time I can't even muster up much interest in sex, let alone something that takes as much effort as a relationship. Feh. Even cooking for myself seems like a hassle half the time. I wonder if I'm kind of reprioritizing my life, or if I'm just getting bogged down and neglectful.

This week I have another appointment to check my thyroid levels and readjust my medication, so I think I'm going to request a medication change... if my TSH level is still too high, they'll up my dose automatically. If it's within "normal" range, I think I'll ask to either switch to a natural thyroid or get a synthetic T3 added to my current medication. Maybe that will help? One can hope so.

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